A comedian friend recently told me that one of my jokes is being used by another “comic” back in Texas. NEAT.  They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I can tell you that this just isn’t true. “Imitation” in stand-up is more maddening than anything else.

The joke I’m talking is a popular joke I do about Halloween.  I wrote this joke about 5 years ago.

I used to do it all the time-it was my favorite for a while but like any good thing, you get tired of it.  That’s actually why I decided to do it on “Live at Gotham” on Comedy Central a couple of years back. I wanted to “burn” it, meaning that I wanted to do it on TV so that I wouldn’t use it again, at least not with the frequency I had been using it with.

Having said all that though, I can’t tell you how much it bothers me to hear about this comedian. I know her name, where she’s at, etc…but really, what’s the point in saying something? Since I’ve written this joke, I have heard this premise time and time again. I know I don’t own the premise, but I know I do own that specific joke.

Knowing that this person took my joke makes me feel like they stole something very personal from me-what an ugly feeling.

And it’s not the first time it’s happened either. I’ve had jokes taken from me from people that I was working with. I know crazy, huh?

I remember this one specific show, in Corpus Christi, TX where this “comic” went up after me and I was backstage, walking around when all of a sudden I hear this guy doing a joke of mine, a joke I hadn’t done at that specific show. At that moment, I was like, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? REALLY!?”

Words can’t explain how mad I got.  My first instinct was to wait offstage and kick this guy’s ass. And before I go on, let me explain, when I say kick a guy’s ass-I really mean it.  I don’t know if it’s the Latino in me from growing up where I did, but sometimes, I just crave a fight, just like others might crave something like a pizza.

When he got offstage, I went up to him and asked him about what he did. He said he had no clue that THAT was my joke.  Awesome. So this guy steals and apparently thinks I’m a moron. Super awesome.

The only reason I didn’t kick his ass is because well, he’s what a lot of people consider to be handicapped and if I had really acted out on my actions, I was afraid that people would think I was a bitch. So because of that, I didn’t do anything.

The sad thing is, I’ve seen this comedian take jokes time and time again. And I used to call him out on it every time I saw him doing it, but he didn’t care, which in the end is why I stopped talking to him.

That’s one thing that annoys me about stand-up comedy.  ANYONE can call themselves a comedian. It’s not a career that you need to really train for, you just start doing it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met “comedians” that go up on stage and do jokes from other comics or even sadder, do jokey-jokes they read from the internet. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a bunch of these comics getting a lot of work.

What can you do about it though?

I don’t know. All I know, is that what I do, is not talk to these comics. I ignore them and pretend they don’t exist. Is that wrong? I don’t know.

And I’m not saying that I’m a better comedian.  What I am saying is that, like many other comics, I spend a lot of time writing and crafting a joke.  And when you see someone taking something you worked so hard for, it’s really sad.

I’d like to think that most of these people will learn their lesson and stop doing what they do, but if they’re getting success from it-why stop?

So there you go, it’s a Halloween story from me to you. And while it doesn’t have a mummy, or a vampire, it does star quite an ugly monster. Boo.